Hey, I’m the Tiny Snail!

“Who the hell are you and why on earth have you ripped off a children’s book?” is what you’re probably asking if you’re culturally literate; or, at bare minimum, is what you should be thinking if you had a semi-worthwhile childhood. Well, besides being the greatest children’s story of the 21st century, I see a lot of myself in that Tiny Snail, from Donaldson’s legendary book “The Snail and The Whale”.

Although I sit on an office chair all day, not on a rock. And to state another obvious point of contention, my rock pays me pretty well. Even so, I’m bloody bored and daydream out the window, scheming the next flowerbed at the allotment, or planning new fun places I can take the dog and the missus to. I’m not sick of my life; I’m very fortunate and grateful. I just know that there are more enriching ways to spend my time in this world than staring at spreadsheets. Anyway, enough of the snail references, let’s get down to business: why am I blogging here, and why are you here reading it? I can’t answer why you’re here reading this; you’ve probably fallen and hit your head on a large rock- you should get that checked out. I do have two good reasons for being here, though.

1. I have a habit of letting things happen to me instead of intentionally making things happen. The result of this is that unimportant stuff to me (but important things to other people) takes precedence over the very few basic things that are important to me. There aren’t many things to be fair, but I do feel deeply for them; My dog (Dorothy), my Garden and Allotment, and my beautiful partner. I’ll share everything about the first two with you, but the last one is all mine.
2. I talk to myself… a lot. Not out loud, I’m not ill; I just live my life in my head, and say very little out loud. In fact, when I do say something out loud, I often critique it for the next 48 hours. ‘Could I have used a different tone?’, ‘Should I have validated the other person’s point of view more?’, ‘Did he give me a funny look when I said that?’, You get the point. This all goes to say I’m better at writing than talking, since I can say a line 1000 times before anyone receives it.

This blog, then, is me making things happen, not changing the world, just choosing to get up, go outside, almost always with a dog on my left, a set of Felco 2’s in my right hand, and probably some toothpaste down the front of my t-shirt. It’s mostly here for my sanity in taking thoughts out of my brain, but if it provides some form of entertainment or aid to a fellow snail, then job well done, I’d say.